Let me know when you lose the air to save your breath.

I never understood the people who deliberately stir up drama. They're the types who start rumors for no reason, or try to turn friends against other friends, etc.. I just think it's so unfortunate that people feel the need to waste their time on such petty things. I think it's simple; if somebody bugs you - ignore them. If you can't 'ignore' or avoid them, then be civil, and forget about them when you're away from them.. There is no need to start confrontation over it!

I bring this up because there is a good deal of drama going on in my family. Namely (of course) from the uncle who has the least contact with the family. My mother's side is a pretty exclusive, small family... So, you'd think we'd be close - but we're not at all. We keep in contact with one uncle, pretty much, who is now 3 Provinces away.
Anyway... So, since my grandpa lives with us, my uncles have been feeling the need to poke their noses into everything all of a sudden. But the eldest takes it to a whole new level. He calls up my grandpa all the time and spits out reasons why my mother and I are horrible people to live with, and how we're 'abusing him' for his money. Not to mention... He's been spreading lies all through-out the family about us - saying that I've been unemployed and 'stealing' from them. Like, what? I've been the ONLY one in this family (the intermediate one, anyway), that's had a steady job, and has actually been able to support myself. He's pulling random facts out of a hat, and throwing them in the air, just to see if my grandpa will catch them and move to BC. It's petty. And this man is 60-some years old, you would THINK he would have matured from junior high.

So, I'm pretty discouraged. I kind of thought that I was starting to build a pretty stable family life, but these people make it impossible. I just feel sorry for my Grandpa who's in the middle of all of this. I wish they'd give him a break for once. -_-

I've been waiting for you for so long. It almost feels natural, standing here - eyes fixated on nowhere. I wonder, sometimes, if you can feel it. If you just know that, no matter what, I'm frozen to this spot - to this fate of always waiting.

So, things have been 'different'. I am living in a completely new Province... And when I say completely, I mean everything about it is COMPLETELY different. The people are so much nicer, the place is so much more beautiful... It's nice.

However, I desperately want to go home. I think it was much too soon for me to move. It almost feels like everything was left unfinished, you know? I thought giving it a few months would ease the stresses and the uncertainties, but it hasn't. The fact of it is... I just wasn't ready.

Anyway, things haven't been all doom and gloom. I've made some really fantastic friends, and have acquired a job. I don't get out much, but when I do, there's never a dull moment. I've conjured up a bit of a work-crush, so-to-speak. Nothing serious, just an attractive boy that I work with. We talk once in a while, and he seems like somebody who could make the time pass gracefully.

So, all I've been doing is working and watching anime pretty much. Maybe I'll make enough friends soon to be able to go out a bit more often. But I miss going out with my old friends too.. I miss them all like crazy. But I guess this is all just part of growing up, right? Moving on and moving forward?

Quite Simply:

I don't know exactly how I feel, but I know it feels strange.

I'd like to be tangled
So straight-edged, narrated
My means are forthright and predetermined
Let it be strangled, twisted
Wrinkled, like the lines on your face
That used to smile, once.

I'd like to be face-to-face
Be able to flood the feeling
Instead of drowning in ink, and discarded paper
Words are a waste and cheap
I'm broke in poverty -a child without a home
That used to smile, once.

So our losses are weighed
So weightless and bare
Forward motion brings us here
Fated to bring peace to our buried inconsistencies
Worried, like the expression on your face
We used to smile. 

So, I'm convinced that I'm happy. However, I need, need, need, need, NEED to find a good job. I need to save up enough money to be able to go to school (again) next year. Or at least to support my traveling dream when I throw my education down the tubes again. (Kididng.)

But nothing much is new. Have been cleaning like a demon, setting up the house. Met a new guy here who has showed me around town and made a great effort to keep in contact with me and see me as much as possible. It's been nice. I want to get involved in the gym around here, but I haven't found one yet. I will continue my epic search... Tomorrow... After I sleep.

Hope everyone is doing well! Oh! I have personal gossip, but I shall save that for the next entry, for again, I am tired. Miss you guys!