Let me know when you lose the air to save your breath.

I've been generally really, super happy lately.

Just have to wait it out a few more months and things will fall right into place, hopefully. Just got to wait out surgery and then after that I'm out of here. Easy peasy.

I'm getting a fierce Newfie accent and I don't approve.

That aside, things seem to be going weird with the friend I mentioned before. It seems she WANTS to fix things, but doesn't really know how to go about it. I'm going to try to be patient and understanding and see if something will come up that will help me decide what to do about this. I'd hate to lose a friend. So, I hope things do work out.

Other than that, Birthday in 4 days and Ontario in 9! I can hardly contain my excitement! I wish I were there right now. I picture myself sitting cross-legged with my sisters, sharing a tub of some kind of sugary candy, talking about life, love and justice. Something about being with my sisters again just feels so incredibly perfect at this particular time! I have so much to catch them up on too! Too much excitement! Let's just hope a happening like last year's visit to Ontario doesn't go down, hey? I'm sure it won't, though. Squee!

I'm getting much too lazy for drama. I really just wish, at this point, everybody would just get along. Getting along is amazing... Why do people intentionally start this nonsense? It's exhausting. I never understood.
I'll be over here listening to country music, avoiding all of it.

Oh... ONTARIO IN 11 DAYS! Yes!

So, I have this friend... Her and I have been friends for a little less than a year now and she considers me her best friend. I used to really like her, but now it kind of seems that we're growing in different directions. She's always SO negative and really puts/drags me down all the time. I used to be able to put up with it, but it just seems to be getting worse and worse...
It's getting to the point where she gets mad at me for anything and everything. I can't do anything without her criticizing my decisions. It just feels like it's becoming a really destructive relationship. I dread hanging out with her because I don't know what I'm going to say or do to piss her off... For example: I mention my boyfriend's name and she's pissed at me for a day. Why? Shouldn't you be happy that your best friend's happy?
But in the same respect, how do you just walk away from someone? I never have like that... But something keeps telling me I need to. Maybe it's best for both of us, but I feel like I'm abandoning her.

Guh. Maybe the answer will come to me... I guess I'll just coast it.

I don't really understand anything. I don't think I ever really did. I kind of just make my way through life and try to pick up the pieces of information that apply to me and the world I perceive around me. It used to make me kind of sad when I thought about it, knowing there was a world full of things much bigger and greater than I was and I didn't possess the means to understand any of it. It used to make me kind of sad, yeah, but when you're empty, everything kind of does. I've noticed I'm a little more comfortable with the unknowns now that I have a selection of really great knowns in my life. Isn't it funny how that works? In the times you should be offering yourself comfort,  you deceive yourself - convince yourself you are thirsty for everything, when really you just need one conclusive thing.
I'd like to know what that one thing is for everyone. I'm sure it's different in every case; actually, I'm sure it changes over time too. It makes me question if contentment was ever meant to be constant. As you learn and understand more, collecting those pieces of information that apply to the world around you, they change you, don't they? They make you believe in love, despise love, trust, isolated, cold, bitter, caring... In 20 years, you can change your views and beliefs more times than you change your clothes.
But it's fun to think that, somehow, there's something that you can run to that will make this confusing world around you just a little bit easier and that it will be there whenever you need it.
It's nice to think he'll be there.